weary as water

every time i blink i have a tiny dream

Tag Archives: seasons

Thanksgiving weekend

Thanksgiving was great. On the big day we went to Emily’s aunt’s lakehouse. The whole clan was there – including the new additions Amanda & Conner. (So glad to have them be a part of this big crazy family!). I made pumpkin pie from scratch – including the pie crust – and it was delicious.

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Friday we didn’t do much. Emily worked Thursday night, so she slept most of the day on Friday. We ended up going to Old Navy late in the day so I could get some jeans on sale (plus, we had a coupon!). I like shopping when I save more than I spend.

Saturday we went to Auburn for the Ironbowl.

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We had great seats to an amazingly crappy game – Auburn lost 41-14.

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The highlight of the day today (Sunday) was making homemade pizza on my new pizza stone. It was a mushroom + onion + peppers + italian sausage pizza on dough from Whole Foods, and it was delicious. I think next time I’ll only use half the dough at a time because I like a super thin crust. But still…delicious! (And Emily found a six pack of Woodchuck Fall cider hidden in the depths of the local package store – my very favorite cider ever and it’s not being made any longer!).

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I got 99 problems…

It’s been really freaking cold here in the DeepSouth, and I’ve been trying to warm myself up by listening to music I like (and yeah, buying too many records. Mostly so I’ll have cardboard liners to burn for heat). Today I got my copy of Jaydiohead (JayZ “black album” rap + radiohead samples) on vinyl – didn’t realize it was a bootleg copy until I started poking around the internet. Anyway, it sounds good on vinyl. I like it better than DangerMouse’s “grey album” (jayz “black album” rap + beatles “white album” samples).

Also – I know I didn’t put up a “best of 2009″ music list – but I think The Antlers “Hospice” was a brilliant album that didn’t get the attention it deserved. It’s not an easy album to listen to. You have been warned – it is downright wrenching at times – but it is intimate and powerful and emotional and I love it.

first rain

The first rain of summer started while I was walking home tonight.I haven’t been able to drag myself out of bed in time to bike to work, so Emily has been taking me and I’ve been walking a long, leisurely, uphill, evening walk back home.

I started my walk home today contemplating the existence of God. The first big fat rain drops hit my face about halfway home, when I had spoke aloud that I can not be a Christian because I cannot believe in the Virgin birth or the Resurrection. I made a conscious decision to stop thinking about it when I crossed the street, looked up to see the clouds, and thought about my dad’s friend who was recently struck my lightning and killed while sitting in his aluminum boat on a cloudy day.

Back when I was young I believed in both God and the Devil. I remember being miserable twice, so miserable that I cried out “I don’t care which one of you gets me out of here, just help me”. One time I was greeted with silence, but my wish was granted. The other time I was greeted with a loud thunderstrike on a crystal clear day, and I escaped years later.

In a time not so far away I took some hallucinogenic and had such severe stomach cramps my keeper thought my appendix had burst and I needed to go to the ER. I don’t know if my pain was mental or physical, but it felt like some of the worst physical pain I’ve ever experienced. I was laying in a sweat soaked bed, rocking back and forth, legs to my chest, cold washcloth on my head, tripping my non-existent balls off. In a moment of desperation I said “Jesus!” and instantly my pain was gone.

Moral of the story: I have to be in complete desperation to get rid of my disbelief. I think that has more to do with my upbringing than any sort of a higher power.

march 9

Spring is here! Time to dust off the camping gear and get outta here.

Spent yesterday afternoon and evening installing dotLRN at work. The installation did not go smoothly – lots of compile issues – but I got it worked out. As hard as it was to install, it is easy and intuitive to use. The doc we presented it to today seemed to like it, so we’ll see where it goes from here.

There’s talk at work that I may shift to a purely programming/sysadmin role, which I’m hoping happens. Don’t get me wrong – I like what I’m doing now (mostly tech support with a little sysadmin thrown in), and I generally like the people I support…but I’m definitely bored and that makes me feel stagnant and generally unproductive.

Today I got a call on my cell from Chuck, a homeless (I think, although I’m not sure) guy who comes up to the fountain for Food Not Bombs. I gave Chuck my phone number last weekend because he skips in and out a lot, and he showed up saying that he had broken his back. Today he called from the hospital, upset and saying that his back is fucked and they want to do surgery on it, which he doesn’t want. I didn’t really know what to say, except that it sucks and I’m glad that he is not in a life or death situation, even though it’s painful as hell. I think he just wanted to hear a friendly voice.

nov. 21

There’s a church a few blocks down the street that, although I would never step foot in it any other time of year, has a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner every year. Since I got out of class early on Tuesday night, Emily and I went. Although they always look at me weird when I say I don’t want any turkey or ham, it’s always tasty and delicious.

It’s started to get cold here. I even turned on the heat a few days ago. Soon there won’t be any leaves left on the trees.

eat pasta run fasta!

I was out taking pictures of Vulcan Run [Woo! Vulcan Run is over!] and saw this lady and her dog. The dog was much more interested in the camera than the woman was. Aww, aren’t they cute?

Speaking of dogs, I have been sick since Friday, with my annual changing-of-the-weather-cold. I slept away most of the weekend. I just had a coughing fit so intense that my eyes watered.

Saw the Borat movie on Friday. High-larious and completely disgusting. We stayed to watch the credits in hopes that there would be funny outtakes afterwards; we didn’t get any funny outtakes but we did get to hear the ettiquitte folks from Birmingham talk to a reporter about their experiences. They all seemed to take it in stride. In summary: Borat: A Movie I Would Not Recommend To My Mother But If You Do Not Fall Into That Category You Should Go See It.


records and love

the dog days of summer are in full effect, and it seems that the world outside my window is moving extra slow from having to cut through the humidity that won’t fall from the sky, no matter how hard i try to coax it down with my mind. it’s hot outside. so hot that i think i could probably fry an egg, although i’m not going to buy a carton of eggs just to test that theory.

i’m still in love, and i still love records, although the two feelings are usually kept separate. in the instances where they are equal, well, i try to keep that to myself.

it’s during the slugishness of summer that i realize i am not the person i want to be. i need to read more, write more, meditate more. i need to study even though i am far removed from that ivory tower. i need to take less for granted.

responsibility

yesterday i bought a $10 part at lowe’s and turned the built-in lens on my digital camera into a fisheye lens. it turned out nicely. ( and no, i didn’t think of that myself.)

i’ve also been working on my piece-o-crap bike. i’ve been riding it back and forth to work sometimes, but i want to start riding more, just for fun. the front brakes are nowworking nicely. everything has been cleaned and greased and tightened and generally unsqueakified. except, uhm, i broke the rear brake by overtightening one little tiny screw. oops. so, i suppose i should make a trip to the store soon. by car, i guess. or maybe i’ll see if that junkie down the street will still let me have that frame in front of his apartment (with rear brakes still attached).in a moment of complete responsibility, i bought a bike helmet. all i need now is some sort of rack/box for the back and i’ll feel pretty good about riding to publix on my weekly grocery run (except the fact that it’s all uphill.) then get some fenders and i’ll be able to ride to work in the rain! i’m toying with the idea of getting rid of my car, but i probably won’t.

i think it is absolutely hilarious to watch people pawning whatever they can in order to buy gas for their suv.

spring

indeed, it is spring. what do they say about the best made plans? I had planned to go up to the sipsey wilderness area this friday & saturday – I go up there sometimes just to get away and explore. It’s no wilderness like the bob marshall but it still does the trick.what does it say about me that the only thing capitalized in that sentence was the word “I”?

so anyway, i was ready to go. this is weird for me, as usually i am throwing shit into my pack, running out the door to go up to laura’s and take off. this time, i had a list. i had a plan. i had my pack under 25 pounds, with luxuries. i was R-E-A-D-Y. unfortunately, the weather was not. all of the weathermen were freaking out on thursday about an approaching storm – hail, lightning, tornados, wind, rain – the whole bit. this is a little trend i like to call “the curse of lacinda”. long story short – i didn’t go, and although the weather was not as bad as predicted, there were still lots of wind, at least. and so, i guess i’ll try again in two weeks.

this morning, though, i’m drinking good coffee, listening to the new mono record, laughing at the cats who are stuck behind the window screen, watching the birds pick worms out of the lawn.

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