i’ve been having a really terrible time getting to sleep lately. for a while my course of action was to get up and work on a project until i absolutely couldn’t keep my eyes open, but this isn’t working. apparently i can still pull all-nighters pretty easily (especially if i’m focused on something) – and so i end up getting an hour of sleep and being dead at work the next day. (on the other hand, the next night’s sleep is great!).i saw a post on sleep tips over on lifehacker, and read the articles and the comments. and so, here’s my new plan.
* sleep from 11-6
* start winding down at 10. this means putting the poor little laptop to sleep, dimming the lights, and using that hour to read something that won’t infuriate me, and/or meditate.
* when the alarm goes off at 6, get my lazy ass out of bed and into the shower. (i’m terrible about hitting snooze.). after the shower, stretch and do silkweavers.
* no coffee after 6pmwe’ll see if it helps. project SleepSoundly starts tonight!

anybody else have any tips on sleeping well?

day off today. one of the most brilliant parts about my job is the fact that i work 7:30 to 5:30 for nine days, and i get the tenth day off. i don’t really do anything fantastic on these days off – just putter around reading, drinking coffee, walking, taking pictures. i’ve become dreadfully boring, actually.

i just finished up a very enjoyable read – kafka on the shore by haruki murakami. it’s just the sort of book i want to write – blending the lines between fiction and history and philosophy and science fiction in less than 400 pages. you should read it.

another book you should read: kurt vonnegut’s a man without a country. this book had me in stiches last saturday night when emily and i went to the laundromat to wash every last bit of trey’s washables. emily was trying to study, and i kept saying “ok, i promise this is the last time i’ll distract you, but you have got to listen to this!”

i’m not very good at keeping promises, i guess. unless i really mean them.

my dream? to take over an abandoned building with a couple of friends in a place with squatter’s rights. an infoshop/bike collective on the bottom floor, a few floors of living space (turned livable one room at a time), and an organic roof garden. maybe a darkroom in the basement. a reading room where sunlight streams in through the window in the morning.

there it is, universe. let this be the beginning of speaking dreams into truth.

for the rest of today, well, i’m taking trey out to eat indian food, and then we’re going to see “rent” at the dollar theater. in between, errands and good conversation.

the window is open behind the blinds and the sounds of a still monday evening in the city drift in. a train sounds its whistle on tracks near my favorite forgotten place, just a mile or two from here but how easily i too forget the peace found within its burnt walls and cracked marble siding.

last night i was beyond sad, and my girl took me out driving in the fog. put in the cd and shut your eyes quick, who knows where the wind may take us. we found some houses i have never seen, homes without a soul, larger than my block but with old growth forests intact. it’s tricky how forests make me feel at ease, tricky how they can transport me somewhere i’d rather be. fast forward to the suburbs of strip malls, where the only trees were landscaped and i feel the ache return.

whistle while breathing in, whistle while breathing out. the city still breathes with me at night, even when i’m sober, but my breath has grown shallow.

these tattoos that you don’t understand, think of them like this. you do a bunch of stuff that should have killed you, and you come to a sort of realization about it all and make some pretty drastic changes. and then, without warning, you are *this* close to dying again.

“memento mori”
“memento vivere”

remember these things. you must die, you must live. do your best every time you can, don’t lie in the cesspool of doubt you would love to sink in.