Emily called me with the news that we had been defriended on facebook by this couple we know. It wasn’t a complete surprise – I called OneHalf out for saying some racist shit* on facebook on MLK day and suffice it to say they didn’t take it as constructive criticism. I didn’t take it as a great loss. OneHalf says whatever she feels, whenever she feels it. In my younger days I used to admire her brazenness, but as I have aged it has become tiresome. (Especially since she is never wrong – no matter how insensitive she is being or who she is making fun of). TwoHalf messaged Emily on facebook to tell her what a horrible person I was and how we did things they didn’t like too but they would NEVER say anything to us about them and she also told us to FUCK OFF, just in case that wasn’t clear.
We have been through some shit together, us and them, over the years. We were the types of friends that talk about hanging out a lot but actually only get together two or three times a year. And for the past couple years, OneHalf has been saying things that really made me uncomfortable. The problem was – I didn’t feel like I could say anything to her without creating a bunch of drama – and because we saw each other so rarely it was easier just to ignore her comments about black people and muslim people and homeless people. And so perhaps it was unfair of me to take that three years of frustration and ball it up into a nastygram and throw it back at her. Perhaps I should have been brave enough to talk to her about it at the dinnertable. But if there is one thing I have learned in my life, it is that you don’t have to be friends with someobody just because you’ve always been friends with them. It’s okay to let a friendship fizzle out. It’s okay to let a friendship die a fiery death, if you have to.
And so here I stand, watching my frozen lunch rotate as the microwave emits the only light in the room.
–
*racist shit = stuff about how MLK was sort of a bastard who slept with prostitutes and cheated on his wife and plagarized his sermons and thesis and wasn’t deserving of an official u.s. holiday. why don’t we change it to be for everyone in history who has ever fought for civil rights. Maybe not racist enough to end a friendship over by itself, but in the context of a person who has railed against historically black colleges for being racist (even though white kids can go to them) and the NAACP for being racist (why isn’t there a national organization for the advancement of white people, she asked…oh yeah, it’s called…every single authoritarian structure we HAVE in this country is geared towards the advancement of white people…ie…CONGRESS, most CEOs, school systems, etc.
Related posts: