weary as water

every time i blink i have a tiny dream

Monthly Archives: June 2007

My Pet Peeves At Work

1. People who call me, and then immediately say “can I put you on hold?”
2. People who call me, and then immediately say “can I put you on hold?”
3. People who think that their personal computing problems are emergencies and take priority over anything I might currently be working on.
4. People who ask me to solve X problem for them, because they admittedly do not know what they are talking about. (This is not the pet peeve, this is part of my job). The pet peeve is when I have multiple conversations with them about how to solve X problem with Y solution, and then they send an email out to their group about how I am going to solve their problem with z solution, which they have pulled out of their ass and which does not make any logical sense.
5. People who know that a new hire is starting in two weeks, but do not bother to tell me about it until two days after they have started.

My new email signature should be: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

P.S. Work was busy, but actually pretty decent today. And I had my first sane IM-conversation-with-a-stranger in years. Seriously, years. Thanks, stranger.

P.P.S. Neighbor kids are shooting fireworks outside. It’s wayyy too early for fireworks. My slight sunburn is fading. And I need to do the dishes. I’m almost finished reading Till We Have Faces: A Myth Retold by C.S. Lewis (a gift from my mom). And I can’t wait until Emily finishes And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic, because I’ve been reading bits and pieces of it when she’s put it down.

Now, I’m off to watch my dirty little secret: Traveler, which is two parts Prison Break, one part The Fugitive.

midst of the storm

What a great vacation. We spent most of the day Sunday at Perdido Key (the Gulf Islands National Seashore was a real treat – no crowds, beautiful beach, no hotels). We spent Monday morning at Pensacola Beach (they have a pier! and surfers who spend most of their time waiting for a wave! and we saw dolphins!)…until it started pouring down rain, complete with lightning. Read and napped out the storm in the tent, and then I grilled out when the rain subsided a little bit. By the time the fish/corn/veggies were done, it was pouring rain again, so in a moment of copycat brilliance I put up the beach umbrella over the picnic table. Great success!

We had a very interesting neighbor – talked to him long enough to figure out he was half crazy and the other half drunk. He had some interesting stories, but serious anger issues that seemed to cause his stories to take bizarre turns (shoving a chief of police for not providing security for his mom after she fired some guy, and threatening to beat a guy’s ass because he didn’t leave a waitress a tip).

Anyway, it was a fantastic little break from everyday life. My back is sunburned, and Emily got a speeding ticket in Pensacola, but both of those things are easy enough to resolve. Easing my feet in the sea has calmed my mind a little; that is not something easily found and not something I take for granted.

Trey and Amanda just stopped by all wide-eyed and bushy tailed. They’re finally back and I’m sure I’ll hear more crazy stories (the good kind of crazy, not the crazy kind of crazy) soon.

clock in, clock out

Work was much, much better today.

Emily and I have been eating lunch together every day, which has completely spoiled me. She’s turning into quite the little cook, and I have to practically drag myself away every day when it’s time to go back to work. Since she’s been working second shift, I’m usually asleep by the time she gets home, and lunchtime is really the only time we have to see each other during the week.

I’ve been teaching myself Ruby at night (while listening to opera(!) on NPR). It’s coming along easier than expected – I guess I know more about basic tenants of programming than I thought, and it’s a very intuitive language. I also learned recently that the library offers free online access to Rosetta Stone, so I’ve been half-assed trying to learn Spanish. I think I’m going to tell the neighbor to only speak to me in Spanish, so i can pick up on conversation skills.

I must have stayed up too late last night (or maybe drank too much cider) – I couldn’t drag my self out of bed today to go run. Tomorrow, though, it’s on.

we beg to you with tears in our eyes to please leave us alone

I was in such a shitty mood today at work. I’m not even really sure why, but I was uber-annoyed.

I left work early (thanks, Jack) and walked home in the sun listening to my music loud. I usually listen to music quiet enough so I can at least hear the road – not today. The price my eardrums paid was worth it – by the time I got to the circle I was feeling better.

I called Whitney and asked her if she wanted to go have a drink. She said she had called me earlier at work to ask me the same question but didn’t leave a voice message (today must have been shitty-day-at-work day). Instead of going out, she came over to the apartment and made a cake, and we drank cider and hung out in the park until there were more stars than people.

I feel better already.

put this in your pipe

Things about today:

  • If tomatoes or pepper leaves touch the ground it makes them more prone to fungal infection. So if you see leaves that touch the ground, you should snip them off.
  • The programming thing is a-go, which is awesome. Awesomer than awesome, even. If you know of someone who needs a full-time entry level tech job, let me know.
  • Running isn’t the hard part – getting up early enough to run is the hard part. (My new goal: run minutes MWF and miles Sun).
  • For some reason I really really wanted a smoke tonight. I almost bought a pack when I stopped for gas (I took dinner up to Emily tonight) – but I didn’t. The fact that I wanted one so bad was reason enough not to buy a pack.
  • Having jumper cables in my car = awesome for the neighbor. And I’m glad to help, since no one else was around.
  • We are going to the beach next weekend and camping! And the weather is supposed to be <90. Woohoo!
  • We also bought our return tickets for August, finishing out the set. Patience paid off – round trip for $200 each. Glad we are flying/renting a car than driving – Trey and Amanda are still stuck in Clovis waiting for a transmission (it’s been over a week now). I can’t wait. In fact, I think I’m going to check out travel boards now.


    • first rain

    The first rain of summer started while I was walking home tonight.I haven’t been able to drag myself out of bed in time to bike to work, so Emily has been taking me and I’ve been walking a long, leisurely, uphill, evening walk back home.

    I started my walk home today contemplating the existence of God. The first big fat rain drops hit my face about halfway home, when I had spoke aloud that I can not be a Christian because I cannot believe in the Virgin birth or the Resurrection. I made a conscious decision to stop thinking about it when I crossed the street, looked up to see the clouds, and thought about my dad’s friend who was recently struck my lightning and killed while sitting in his aluminum boat on a cloudy day.

    Back when I was young I believed in both God and the Devil. I remember being miserable twice, so miserable that I cried out “I don’t care which one of you gets me out of here, just help me”. One time I was greeted with silence, but my wish was granted. The other time I was greeted with a loud thunderstrike on a crystal clear day, and I escaped years later.

    In a time not so far away I took some hallucinogenic and had such severe stomach cramps my keeper thought my appendix had burst and I needed to go to the ER. I don’t know if my pain was mental or physical, but it felt like some of the worst physical pain I’ve ever experienced. I was laying in a sweat soaked bed, rocking back and forth, legs to my chest, cold washcloth on my head, tripping my non-existent balls off. In a moment of desperation I said “Jesus!” and instantly my pain was gone.

    Moral of the story: I have to be in complete desperation to get rid of my disbelief. I think that has more to do with my upbringing than any sort of a higher power.

    inspiration needed: apply within

    The conversation in her office, long after everyone else had gone home, was completely unexpected. One part “I’ve always felt different”, two parts “I just want to disappear”, three parts “I’m sick of these United States” equals being miserable even at the top of her profession. Maybe she’s crazy. Maybe I’m crazy too. Maybe not.

    Not that I’m at the top of my profession – I certainly have my job to provide some mental stimulation but mostly it is to provide money for entertainment and survival and the occasional road trip. But I’m certainly caught in the middle of my own rat race. There’s so much I want to learn and I have so little motivation. I’m caught in this never-earlier-than-7:30 to never-earlier-than-5:30 life, and I feel like I barely have time to cook dinner and read and clean and sleep before it’s time to go at it all over again.

    I’ve always been like this – tired and melancholy and doing things because I have to, not because I want to. I have to get out of this funk somehow. I just get so tired of being here in this town, where I feel am so fundamentally different than those around me.

    If I could take a picture of the smell of freshly ground coffee, I would.